getting to know ALL students

i just attended the student of color check-in at my school. these events are held several times a year. it's a chance to get most of the students of color in one room together. it's a chance for them not to be the minority in the room and to share their experiences, both positive and negative, here at our school.

i have attended one or two of these meetings in the past and i have to make sure to bring tissues next time. i always end up getting emotional watching these brave students share their very personal and sometimes hurtful stories with each other. 

they began by watching this video made by a student who couldn't attend the meeting. he talks about his experiences, especially in regards to the racial stereotypes he's encountered. 

several students shared feelings of being obligated to know the answer in history or english classes when discussions of race or civil rights came up. they told us about the pressure they feel on them in that moment. they said they felt like a disgrace to their race if they didn't already know the answers. and those same assumptions show up when subjects like hip-hop or basketball come up and their classmates or, god forbid their teachers, expect them to have all the answers.

a female african-american student who excels in math and science told stories of teachers and students who acted surprised to see her in honors level courses. another story involved a coach who never learned the names of the four african-american girls on his team. and one girl became emotional when trying to explain how torn she feels about wanting to spend most of her time with her friends who are students of color because the are "like her", but not wanting to seem like she's cutting herself off from the rest of the community.

one of the most difficult situations students of color face here at our school is the assumption that they are all from the same kind of place with the same kind of bank account. of course they're not. some come from tough neighborhoods and face hurtful comments from their white classmates about the places they call home, while others are more well-to-do, and live in "fancier", whiter suburbs, and they face misunderstandings from their classmates of color. 

my wish is that all of my colleagues could hear the stories i heard during this meeting. 

naturally, this isn't possible. the students wouldn't be able to talk freely with a large group of adults sitting around them and they shouldn't have to suffer through telling hard stories in order for us to learn what we should already know...that ALL of our students are unique individuals who come from very different places and part of our job is to learn about that.

it makes me think of a colleague of mine who gave me a piece of advice that i come back to time and again. he said, "you're supposed to be enjoying this, you know. it should be fun." he wasn't referring to teaching but the advice still applies. my life has been so enriched by all the different kids i've taught over the years.  i really enjoy getting to know what makes my students tick and so i really enjoy my job. i just want everyone else to have that same rich experience.

as someone with a small leadership role in the building, i am thinking of possible ways to share what i experienced in that room with the larger community...but how do you do that without being preachy or accusatory? the new agey philosophers i love so much would say, be the example and people will follow, but is that enough? these kids are suffering for pete's sake...i'll get back to you when i have it all figured out...