the truth is...

...these first few weeks of the school year have been really tough. i've been posting all these cool things my students have been up to but the real truth is i have not been loving life as a teacher this far. 

i'm teaching an extra class and i now realize how soft i've gotten since i left my job in new york.

 you see, i got used to actually teaching. to me this means, having smaller classes so i know my students really well, having the space to create a magical learning environment for my students, finding the time to reflect on my students' progress and on their struggles, and to create lessons tailored to each group so that each student has the best chance to learn and progress. 

but this fall...i feel like i'm just managing bodies, and supplies, checking up on whether work is done or not...listening for what the school will add to our to-do lists. and my students don't seem as prepared for the content i'm ready to throw their way. is this overwhelming feeling all just because of one extra class? maybe. 

but, yes, ive gotten soft. my actual student load hasn't increased at all. i do, however, have three days a week where i go almost five hours with constant student contact so i'm totally wiped when it ends...and that is driving me crazy. i didn't used to get wiped out. in fact my first two years i saw 22 groups of kids per week. 

am i smarter now?

have my expectations changed?

am i spoiled?

is it just september?